And now the end is near…

16 Jul

On the first day of writing this blog, I posted partial lyrics to Frank Sinatra’s “New York, New York.” I was embarking on this six-week journey in the city-eager to take in as much as I could, see more of the world, build more stories to my collection, achieve a personal goal, and make unforgettable memories. It was exciting and scary all at the same time.

And now I sit here typing this, the night before my last official day in NYC, and I’m listening to Sinatra’s “My Way.” I’m practically in tears, especially with his first line “And now, the end is near.” My publishing program has ended. I made many friends, two of which will be lasting friendships, I’m certain. I’ve grown – from public humiliation (breaking a heel while out dancing) to thinking I could wear a dress on the Brooklyn Bridge to being fooled by a scam artist on the street, to navigating the subways and this huge city. The best times were those that I least expected , like the time Sabrina and I missed our stop one morning on the way to class and were stuck on the train as it went all the way into Brooklyn. We shrugged it off as a fun  misadventure and ended up stopping for fruit smoothies since we were out. The time Sabrina, Kelly and I wanted to be “fancy city girls” so we dressed extremely classy and splurged on a taxi to and from the Carlyle Hotel where we sipped wine listening to live jazz music. It was an amazing night. Of course, the night I met up with dad at the same location was one of my best memories as well. I’ll miss looking out my bedroom window at the selection below to decide what I wanted for dinner. I particularly remember vividly all those days I reemerged from the subway below ground to an entirely different area of the city- a whole new world. Those instances I looked up to find the sun to tell me which direction I needed to head in, but the skyscrapers were blocking any chance at my having a sense of direction. It was an overwhelming – in a positive way – experience. It was a fantastic learning experience. Many, many times I caught myself smiling with happiness and pride – little ol’ me walking through the big apple all alone, or with friends, surrounded by a frenzy of people with their own destinations, stories and lives. And I definitely did it “My Way.”

And now I have this experience under my belt that noone can take away. Add it to my list of accomplishments. I’m also pleased with how my NYU program ended. My group, of which I was the publisher, won first place for our romance book imprint. Not too shabby! I have such fantastic knowledge of book and magazine publishing. I often found myself in class saying to myself “I can’t believe how much I’m loving this.” This revelation happened no matter what I was doing here. One of the best parts of all was the real-world experience of meeting others, NETWORKING (it is as important as they say it is) and figuring it all out on my own. From the very first day where I requested that I move myself and all my bags in alone, to tonight, reflecting and thinking “what’s next?” Who knows? I’m still enjoying this bittersweet moment. And for those who know me, you’ll know what I mean when I say: it was so gray cat.

View of NYC from Brooklyn Bridge, my favorite view

And now, the end is near,
And so I face the final curtain.
My friends, I’ll say it clear;
I’ll state my case of which I’m certain.

I’ve lived a life that’s full –
I’ve travelled each and every highway.
And more, much more than this,
I did it my way.

Regrets? I’ve had a few,
But then again, too few to mention.
I did what I had to do
And saw it through without exemption.

I planned each charted course –
Each careful step along the byway,
And more, much more than this,
I did it my way.

Yes, there were times, I’m sure you knew,
When I bit off more than I could chew,
But through it all, when there was doubt,
I ate it up and spit it out.
I faced it all and I stood tall
And did it my way.

I’ve loved, I’ve laughed and cried,
I’ve had my fill – my share of losing.
But now, as tears subside,
I find it all so amusing.

To think I did all that,
And may I say, not in a shy way –
Oh no. Oh no, not me.
I did it my way.

For what is a man? What has he got?
If not himself – Then he has naught.
To say the things he truly feels
And not the words of one who kneels.
The record shows I took the blows
And did it my way.

Yes, it was my way.

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6 Responses to “And now the end is near…”

  1. Muzzie July 16, 2010 at 12:47 pm #

    For once, I’m speechless. What a TERRIFIC blog post. Your blog says it all. You did it your way . . . the gray cat way. I love you Pep and am so proud of you!

  2. Dee Wilcox July 16, 2010 at 4:28 pm #

    Again, you have managed to make me cry. Shlove Dinky. I am so proud of you! See you tomarrow 🙂 Enjoy your last night as a city girl!

    • graycatgirl July 17, 2010 at 2:26 am #

      Haha, this made me laugh. I know you’re proud of me. I appreciate you being excited for me always xo

  3. Jules July 18, 2010 at 4:42 pm #

    I read this after listening to your very excited phone message about being home but with plans to go back! Bravo, Stephie! Just like your mom commented, you did it your way, the Gray Cat way, you took from this experience something very unique to YOU!

  4. vicki wilcox July 25, 2010 at 11:55 pm #

    I’m bringing up the rear, but i’m at the head of the Stephanie Wilcox fan-club!!!!!!!!!…Sooooooooooooooooooooooooo proud of you and happy for you. You are very motivating. Love you so much. Aunt E21

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